The Nobility of Marriage And The Evil of Divorce

Posted by Hazman Aziz On February - 13 - 2008

Turning 27th years of living, I have not yet thinking of getting marriage. My folk got marriage at the age of 27th and by 28th, Hazman Aziz was born on November 27th, 1980. 28th years, I have not even thinking and planning in tie a knot with someone. Most of my peers either are getting married or just get married. When is my turn? I do not know yet. But, last surmon does make me ponder on the nobility of marriage and the evil of divorce.

While as a librarian, the society of works ponder me deeper into these few points:

Among the important elements in a happy family is building a strong faith, based on knowledge and conviction.
Every couple who wishes to get married should know the main objectives of marriage and prepare themselves with sufficient knowledge to build a happy marriage.
Every problem has a solution, if both parties can learn to give and take and think far, by considering the hazards of divorce on children, and the responsibilities to be questioned later in the hereafter.

Allow me to share last’s Friday surmon …

Islamic Religious Council of Singapore
Friday Sermon
25 January 2008 / 18 Muharram 1429
The Nobility of Marriage And The Evil of Divorce

Brothers in Islam,
Let us have taqwa in Allah s.w.t with the truest of Taqwa. Let us follow the example of Rasulullah s.a.w in instilling taqwa in ourselves.

Rasulullah s.a.w loved peace, prosperity and harmony and he was very upset whenever there was a dispute or a quarrel. This attribute of his is reflected from his way of dealings with his family.

Look at how Rasulullah s.a.w built a harmonious family. As the head of the family, Rasulullah s.a.w often helped his family in household chores. This was reported by his wife Saidatina Aisyah r.a. in a hadith narrated by Imam al-Bukhari:

When Sayyidatuna Aisyah r.a. was asked by a man named Aswad on how the Prophet s.a.w occupied himself at home, she replied, “He used to keep himself busy in household chores and went out when the time for prayer came.”

Such is Rasulullah s.a.w, an example and our model in building a happy family.

My brothers,
Among the important elements in a happy family is building a strong faith, based on knowledge and conviction. As Muslims, we should know our objectives in beginning a family.
Allah s.w.t has created mankind into male and female so that the human race will keep proliferating in this world. The desire of a man for a woman, and the need of a woman for a man is part of the human nature.

But this desire does not stand on its own. Allah s.w.t has created it, and Allah s.w.t has given guidelines to man on how they can channel this desire to the path of happiness, harmony and tranquility.

So the first objective for a Muslim in getting married is to seek a harmonious life with his loved partner. This is in accordance to what Allah s.w.t says in the Al-Quran (Surah Rum, verse 21):

“And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”

Besides that, the objective of marriage is to produce offsprings and nurture the next generation of Muslims with a strong faith and sense of identity. The next generation that will continue to create a better life in this world.

Allah s.w.t says in Surah An-Nahl, verse 72:

“And Allah has made for you mates from among yourselves, and has made for you, from your mates, sons and grandsons, and has provided you with good things.”

These are the two objectives of marriage: to seek happiness and tranquility with a loved spouse, and to produce faithful offsprings who will continue to strive for the prosperity of this world.

Therefore, it is important for every couple who wishes to get married to know these two main objectives. Every couple should prepare themselves with sufficient knowledge to build a happy marriage.

My brothers,
Unfortunately, a happy marriage can at times be marred with marital discord and disputes. Sometimes such disputes get magnified to the extent that the husband and wife can no longer live together. So Allah s.w.t permits divorce as the final resort. However, it is the most despised act by Allah s.w.t. Rasulullah s.a.w said (Hadith narrated by Abu Daud and Ibn Majah):

“Of all things which have been permitted, divorce is the most hated by Allah.”

Divorce is the most hated by Allah s.w.t. This is because divorce affects the relationship between people. Divorce will cause the ties of two families which have been strong previously due to the union of their children, to break away. But more unfortunately, it will affect the relationship between the divorced parents and their children.

Every child who has divorced parents will face psychological stress. No child wishes to witness their parents fighting, getting divorced and staying apart. Every child, especially the very young, yearns for happy and loving parents. And every child needs a peaceful and loving environment to grow up properly.

They are like new shoots of a plant. It needs fertilizers and a good environment. If the plant is not nourished, and is watered with toxic materials, and not given a good environment, the plant will not grow well, and may not even bear fruits.

Often, the psychological stress faced by children from divorced families, remains throughout their lives. This stress will give impact to their behaviour, their interactions with society, and their education.

My brothers,
Last year, around 50% of marriages failed. Just imagine how many of our children, who are still in need of their parents’ love, now face the turmoils due to divorce.

So, to the couples who wish to wed, think deeply about the main objective to get married. And to the couples who are married, think properly before ending the marriage.

Every problem has a solution. Every problem can be solved if both parties can learn to give and take and think far, by considering the hazards on the children, and the responsibilities to be questioned later in the hereafter.

Remember and practise what has been learnt in the marriage preparatory course. If there is a problem, there is help and advice offered by the Family Service Centre (FSC) such as PPIS, so that we will not be hasty in making decisions which will only harm all parties.

Let us listen to what Allah says in the Al-Quran, may we be guided in building a happy and successful marriage in this world and in the hereafter.

Allah says in the Al-Quran:

“Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.”

For more books on Islam and Marriage, too bad our academic library do not have them. But, on the bright side, National Library Board has it and only one. You can check out.